Harry Potter and the Inept Cheerleading Bimbos
by Miss Wallflower
Summary: Hogwarts forms cheerleading squads for the House Quidditch teams. Rivalries are made, friendships tested, and Harry saves the world. AGAIN. (PG-13 for safety:-)
1. The Senseless Letters

DISCLAIMER: WE DO NOT OWN HARRY POTTER!!!!! We did make up most of the cheerleaders and a few of the other random characters. Chances are if you don't know who it is, we made them up.  
  
*****Chapter One*****  
  
Uncle Vernon was pissed. Well, that's really not surprising, considering it was the middle of July and Harry was still there sulking in a typical teenage way and waiting for the next term at Hogwarts to start. But the point is, Uncle Vernon was pissed. And Aunt Petunia was her usual annoying delusional self. And Dudley was out with Piers and his other friends being in a sort-of secret gang. And Harry was sulking in a typical teenage way and waiting for the next term at Hogwarts to start, just like I said earlier. So it was a typical day in the Dursley household. (Wonder why it's not the Dursley/Potter household. Harry lives there too! Oh well, his problem not mine.) ANYWAY. Suddenly Hedwig flew up to the window with a big giant mailbag attached to her leg. Harry opened the window and Hedwig flew in, staggering from the weight of the mailbag. He took the mailbag off her leg and let her relax, meanwhile dumping the mail on the floor of his room. Out poured at least fifty letters. "Bloody hell," he said, sounding like Ron. Harry picked one up, examining the return address. It was from Mrs. Weasley, Ron's mother. "Wonder why she's writing me," he thought. He opened the letter.  
  
Dear Harry, (the letter said)  
  
How are you? I hope you're doing well. We're all waiting here for you to come visit us at the Burrow. Hermione is here too, and I don't know why I'm saying that because this isn't an H/H so it's of no interest to you and of no relevance to the plot. Well, I'm just writing to tell you that you're welcome to come visit as soon as possible. I think Ron may have sent you some floo powder so you can come via that as long as you make sure to enunciate so you don't end up in an awful place like Knockturn Alley again. Well I'll let you go then. And I've sent along a little Muggle toy as a present- I hope it's still squeaky.  
  
Molly Weasley  
  
Harry put the letter down and noticed the little yellow rubber ducky halfway buried in the pile of mail, then laughed half-heartedly. He didn't care if he did have a lot of mail. He was a teenager. He couldn't be fully happy. It was his job to be angsty and such-on. Harry picked up another letter, this one from Madam Pomfrey, informing him of his own personal private bed in the hospital since he seemed to spend such a lot of time there. The next letter was from Fleur. "Gee, I wonder why she's writing me. We haven't spoken since the tournament. Huh. Weird." The letter was on pale blue flowered parchment.  
  
'Allo, Harry,  
  
Mon pére a fait batir maison. En s'asseyant il fit ton bond. Le plus jeune c'est mon mignon. Oh, silly me. You don't know French, do you? Well, in English that means the fair pear beats the mansion, then assassinates James Bond and adds the moon dessert and Jack. An old French fable passed from generation to generation. I've always found it a bit silly but who am I to argue with history.  
  
Well, I have to go. I hope you have fun playing Quidditch. Oh, yes, and I shall be seeing you quite soon I think. I'm not quite at liberte to give details, but you will see me soon.  
  
Fleur Delacour  
  
Harry was confused. What did Fleur mean by that? And why was she writing him? He put it out of his mind and picked up another letter. It was red, but not a Howler. It was just a red envelope, from Colin and Dennis. Not even wanting to know, he put it in the pile where Mrs. Weasley's letter, Madam Pomfrey's letter, and Fleur's already were without even writing it. After a letter from Dumbledore, a note from Hagrid, a near- novel from Hermione, a letter from Ginny, a note and a bag of floo powder from Ron, a death prediction from Professor Trelawney (even on vacation she has to predict my death! he thought), and some letters from Seamus, Dean, and Neville he was halfway through the heaping mailbag. Hedwig had left soon after delivering the first one, but she returned and as she flew right over the pile of mail, she dropped another one right on top of it. Harry groaned and started opening a complimentary fake wand from Fred and George. 


	2. Corrupting Quidditch with CHEERLEADING?

*****Chapter Two*****  
  
"Well, we're back for another year at the old dump," Ron said as they got off the carriage and walked into the Great Hall, ready to watch the first years get sorted.  
  
"RON!" Hermione chastised. "Don't call Hogwarts a dump. It's a wonderful place!" And with that she began a long-winded description of Hogwarts' history. Ron and Harry just sighed and rolled their eyes as they found a seat at the Gryffindor table. They watched the first years file in and make a cluster near the stool where the Sorting Hat sat. It began to sing.  
  
"Gryffindors who seek adventure Always find their way Because they are the bravest lads And they always make their pay.  
  
Ravenclaws who treasure knowledge Who find the logic fun Will become the clever leaders They are always the witty ones.  
  
Hufflepuffs who make their friends Are always shiny and bright They do their work and have high spirits And never get in fights.  
  
Slytherins who get their dues Will end up how they like With stamina and great power And will never need a mike.  
  
Now my tale has reached its end And it's time for you to know Put me on and I will tell you Where you ought to go!"  
  
With that, the hat called out "Ainsworth, Charlotte!" and the sorting begun. Charlotte was a cute girl with brown curls and brown eyes who was sorted into Ravenclaw.  
  
Then the sorting progressed. After the sorting, Dumbledore stood up to make an announcement.  
  
"I am happy to see all of you back this year," he began. "This year, we are going to be having cheerleading teams for our house Quidditch teams!" Harry could hear Lavender and Parvati's excited squeals. It figures, he thought.  
  
"Cheerleaders???" Hermione asked. "Quidditch is a wizarding sport. They're going to corrupt it with cheerleading!"  
  
"I don't think it's a half bad idea," Ron said, slightly grinning.  
  
"That's just because you want to see all the girls in their short outfits," Hermione snarled at him. Ron just blushed and stole a glance at one of the his fellow Gryffindors, a girl named Trixie Tompkins who had rather flippy blonde hair and who Ron imagined would look quite cute in a cheerleading skirt. Hermione knocked him in the back of the head, and muttered something sounding a lot like chauvinist.  
  
"I think cheerleading would be a lot of fun!" a girl younger than them called Natalie McDonald said. "Back home I was a gymnast!" She then proceeded to get down on the floor and put her legs behind her head, with Ron gaping silently at her. Hermione rolled her eyes and whacked him in the back of the head again.  
  
"HEY!" Ron said, coming to his senses. "Stop that!"  
  
"Stop being such a pig and I will!" Hermione hissed back. Ron glared at her, then turned to Harry, who had just been sitting there the whole time.  
  
"What do you think about it, Harry?" Ron asked.  
  
"Mmmm. Cho.. What?" said Harry, who had obviously been daydreaming. "Oh. What was the question?"  
  
"He asked what you think about this cheerleading business," Hermione said. "Honestly, Harry. You really ought to be more subtle. People might think that you're in love with someone." Ron gave a cough sounding suspiciously like Cho and Harry blushed.  
  
"I am not," he defended himself. "And I think that it's fine if they have cheerleaders. It's the girls' business if they want to cheerlead, not mine."  
  
At that moment Fred and George came into the hall and sat down at the table with them. "Hullo!" they said in unison.  
  
"Where were you?" Ron asked. The twins grinned at each other.  
  
"Oh, just putting some. advertisements for our joke shop up," Fred said cryptically. Harry, Ron and Hermione looked at the twins strangely.  
  
"Let's just say some of our least-favourite Slytherins aren't going to be too happy," George said.  
  
Hermione let out an exasperated sigh. "Jokesters pulling pranks right and left and cheerleaders all in one day. What is the world coming to?" Grabbing her bag, she headed out of the Great Hall and upstairs to her room.  
  
Meanwhile at the Hufflepuff table two fourth-years called Alexandra Morgan and Libby Roderick were excitedly chatting about the idea of a cheerleading squad. They had been friends before coming to Hogwarts and they were both rather preppy. Alexandra had straight red hair and green eyes and Libby was a blue-eyed brunette. They were both anxious to try out for cheerleading.  
  
"Do you think we're going to get real cheerleading uniforms, or have to wear robes?" Libby asked.  
  
"I hope we get uniforms. How could you do a backflip in a robe?" Alexandra replied. Libby nodded.  
  
"Yeah, true. But this place is so old-fashioned. Would they let us wear the uniforms? They have a hissy-fit if we even wear something weird in our hair," Libby replied.  
  
"I know, remember when we overheard McGonagall telling off that Gryffindor girl cause she had a butterfly clip?" Alexandra added. Libby laughed and agreed.  
  
Behind them and to the right at the Ravenclaw table a girl named Aemilia Jenston and her boyfriend Kai Montmarte were discussing the cheerleading thing too.  
  
"You should really go out for cheerleading," Kai told her.  
  
"I don't know, Kai," she said hesitantly. "I mean, cheerleading is degrading to women. And I look really bad in short skirts. But."  
  
"But what, 'Milia?"  
  
"It would be fun, wouldn't it? I mean, I can't play Quidditch to save my life. I might as well find something to do."  
  
"That's the spirit!" Kai said. As the two shared a brief hug, two sixth- year Slytherin girls named Madeleine Cook and Nancy Peach walked past.  
  
"Oh, how cute!" Nancy said teasingly. "Two ickle lovebirds!"  
  
"Aww!" Madeleine made kissy noises at them. "Don't let us interrupt you."  
  
"Bug off," Aemilia said. "I'm just glad I have a boyfriend who's supportive of me trying out for cheerleading."  
  
"My boyfriend's supportive of me trying out for cheerleading too," Madeleine said a little too quickly.  
  
"Like anyone would ever go out with either of you," Aemilia shot back scathingly.  
  
"Oh, that's harsh. But who needs romance when there's cheerleading?" Nancy asked, leading Madeleine away. 


	3. Wannabe Goths and Random Gryffindors

*****Chapter Three*****  
  
Natasha Colburn and Farrah Yoinks were two Slytherin fourth-years and best friends who were eager to try out for cheerleading, despite their supposed apathy. Both were wannabe Goths, both with black hair, though Natasha's was actually naturally black, and wore as much black under their robes as possible. But aside from that, they were actually quite preppy and very much ready to go out for cheerleading. So when Pansy Parkinson, who'd already declared herself head cheerleader for the Slytherin squad, called their names they somersaulted and cartwheeled their way to spots on the squad.  
  
"EEEEE!" they squealed, causing onlookers to be seriously confused by the two wannabe Goth girls jumping up and down cause they just made the cheerleading squad. Jasmine Howell, a fifth year Gryffindor who'd just tried out for the Gryffindor squad, was walking out of the hall when she saw them.  
  
"Oh dear God," she thought. "Could they be any more fake?" Her best friend Ravenna Carmichael (A/N: Yes isn't it funny? She's not in Ravenclaw and her name is Ravenna. Oh well. Does it really matter? NO. Anyway.) came up and noticed them too. Ravenna didn't try out for cheerleading- she belonged to the cheerleading-is-sexist-and-stupid school of thought. But she really didn't give a care if Jasmine tried out- she knew Jasmine was just in it for a laugh.  
  
"They're idiots," Ravenna said as they went back to the Gryffindor common room. "Complete idiots."  
  
"Isn't it sad?" Jasmine agreed. As they were entering the common room, two Ravenclaws named Rhyssa Scarborough and Sandra Marie Braxton walked past discussing the cheerleading. They were in fourth year and Rhyssa had just tried out for cheerleading on a complete whim. Sandra Marie couldn't care less about cheerleading- she was a typical bookworm and didn't have time for it. Rhyssa had wanted to try for Quidditch, but she didn't get on and this was the next best thing.  
  
"I think it'll be something new," Rhyssa said. "I mean, it's good to get some updating around this place. It's a historical artefact!"  
  
"No kidding, Rhys," Sandra Marie said sarcastically. "Hogwarts has been around for centuries on end!"  
  
"Spare me the lecture," Rhyssa said. "I was just saying it's nice to have a change every now and then."  
  
"Well, yes, I guess so," Sandra Marie replied. They walked past two second- year Hufflepuffs named Mimi Katt and Claire Spott who had just tried out for cheerleading too. They were easily excitable and rather bubbly and preppy, but since they're in Hufflepuff nobody really cares.  
  
"I totally hope we got on the squad," Mimi said.  
  
"Yeah, that would be totally awesome?" Claire responded. She was (obviously) an uptalker. They walked aimlessly around Hogwarts for a while discussing the cheerleading squad stuff just because they felt like aimlessly wandering around Hogwarts. (A/N: Aimless wandering ROCKS. Anyway.) Finally it was time for dinner, so everyone went into the Great Hall, where Dumbledore made an announcement.  
  
"All right, there is a note posted in the common rooms saying who's on the cheerleading squads. So you'll have to wait until you get back to the common room," Dumbledore said, taking a long pause. "Or.. You could just go read the list posted in the back of the Great Hall. Make your choice." All the girls who tried out ran as fast as they could to the back of the Great Hall, trying to find their name on one of the lists.  
  
"YES!" a Gryffindor seventh year called Ruby Skeffington said to her best friend Bethany Hazard. "We both got on! We both got on!" They then proceeded to dance in a circle until they got really dizzy and fell over.  
  
"Yay!" a first year named Rose Zeller from Hufflepuff thought upon seeing her name on the list. "I will now make a lot of friends and become extremely popular at Hogwarts!"  
  
"That's cool, I'm a cheerleader," a Ravenclaw sixth year named Jade Meringue said. "Wait, I didn't even try out. How did that work? Oh well, I'm a cheerleader, sounds fun I guess."  
  
"Oh hurrah!" a Slytherin second year named Drucilla Pann exclaimed to her friend Miranda Shoppe who was a third year. "We are both on the cheerleading squad! Fun for us! We are going to have so much fun!" Miranda agreed.  
  
Just in case you're wondering, the squads are as follows.  
  
GRYFFINDOR  
  
Parvati Patil  
  
Lavender Brown  
  
Emma Dobbs  
  
Natalie McDonald  
  
Trixie Tompkins  
  
Georgina Glasgow  
  
Jasmine Howell  
  
Ruby Skeffington  
  
Bethany Hazard  
  
Evelyn Trevelyn  
  
RAVENCLAW  
  
Daphne Greengrass  
  
Padma Patil  
  
Mandy Brocklehurst  
  
Elena Abercrombie  
  
Jade Meringue  
  
Rhyssa Scarborough  
  
Aemilia Jenston  
  
Ambrosia Landry  
  
Charlotte Ainsworth  
  
Phoebe Tilks  
  
HUFFLEPUFF  
  
Hannah Abbott  
  
Susan Bones  
  
Laura Madley  
  
Rose Zeller  
  
Janinah Pillow  
  
Mimi Katt  
  
Claire Spott  
  
Alexandra Morgan  
  
Libby Roderick  
  
Eleanor Branstone  
  
SLYTHERIN  
  
Pansy Parkinson  
  
Drucilla Pann  
  
Miranda Shoppe  
  
Nancy Peach  
  
Madeleine Cook  
  
Natasha Colburn  
  
Farrah Yoinks  
  
Zinnia Rafanafagan  
  
Gina Dublin  
  
Yvette Tomato  
  
All of the girls who got on were very excited and happy. Pansy was the captain of the Slytherin squad, Hannah was captain of the Hufflepuffs, Phoebe was captain of the Ravenclaws, and Ruby was captain of the Gryffindors. Once all of them had seen their names on the list, they returned to their respective tables and dinner went on as usual, complete with excited gossipping and conversation.  
  
"Honestly, I don't see how anyone could care so much about such a stupid NON-sport as cheerleading. It's so pointless," Hermione said, rolling her eyes at Lavender and Parvati as they chit-chatted all through dinner about making the squad.  
  
"I don't see any problem with it," Ron said, and realizing that he was in prime position for another whacking on the back of the head hastily ducked as Hermione's heavy Standard Book of Spells Grade 5 book that was flying for his head. 


	4. Hermione's New Friend, A Hufflepuff Slee...

A/N: Thanks all for the reviews! Review and we write more, you know the deal. Oh, and thanks to my friend Kim for some of the ideas!  
  
*****Chapter Four*****  
  
That night after dinner, Hermione went straight up to the dormitories, pulled on her pyjamas, and closed the curtains around her bed, hoping to ignore the rest of the girls. Oh, they wouldn't be up for hours. She had heard there was a party in the common room honouring the cheerleaders, which meant Hermione would be the only one in the dormitories for quite a while. She didn't want to go to the party. It would be all together too. well, too what she wasn't quite sure. Of course, she just pushed it out of her mind and got out her schoolbooks and began to do her Transfiguration homework. It wasn't till much later when an annoyed Ravenna stormed up and slammed her schoolbag on the floor that Hermione opened the curtains and re- joined the world.  
  
"I can't believe her," Ravenna said to nobody, not realizing Hermione was watching.  
  
"What?" Hermione asked, causing Ravenna to drop the hairbrush she was holding.  
  
"Oh. I thought everyone was down at the party," Ravenna said, spitting out 'party' with a lot of sarcasm.  
  
"No, I've been up here the whole time," Hermione said, feeling very unnoticed.  
  
"Oh," Ravenna replied quietly, feeling bad she hadn't noticed, but quickly returning to her problem. "This stupid cheerleading thing. Jasmine's only been a cheerleader for a few hours and she's already gone cheerleader-y."  
  
"That's too bad," Hermione said sympathetically. "Since my two best friends are boys, well, one of them is in love and completely in la-la- nothing-matters-land and the other one is such a chauvinist he thinks cheerleading is the best thing that ever happened to Hogwarts. So either way, I'm basically screwed."  
  
Ravenna was slightly shocked at the perfect model student Hermione using a term like 'screwed', but she pushed it out of her mind. "I guess we both are."  
  
A friendship was being formed in the Gryffindor fifth-year girls' dormitory.  
  
Meanwhile in the Hufflepuff common room, Hannah Abbott, the new captain of the Hufflepuff cheerleading squad, was having a squad meeting with the rest of the cheerleaders.  
  
"Well, girls, have any of you seen the uniforms?" Hannah asked. All of them shook their heads. "Well, Professor Sprout gave me a sneak peak after I got captain, and they are MUCH TOO LONG. They're only an inch above our knees!"  
  
The cheerleaders gasped.  
  
"That's horrible!" a second-year named Eleanor Branstone exclaimed. "Only an inch?" Hannah nodded.  
  
"Only an inch," she confirmed.  
  
"I say we have a hemming party!" Janinah Pillow, a sixth year, proclaimed.  
  
"Ooh, yeah!" a second year named Laura Madley agreed. "And we can sew sequins on too!"  
  
"I know a good Sparkling Charm!" Susan Bones, a fifth year, added. "I learned it from my aunt! She works at the Ministry of Magic!"  
  
Everyone ignored the last bit- Susan always managed to work her aunt into conversations, and they were used to it, even though it was really annoying.  
  
"Sure, a Sparkling Charm would be good," Hannah said.  
  
"Well, when should we have it?" Mimi asked.  
  
"How about tomorrow night?" Hannah asked the girls. "As long as we're not piled down with homework."  
  
The cheerleaders murmured assorted yes's and sure's.  
  
"Well, care to celebrate?" Libby asked the girls. "I know where there's a good way to sneak out."  
  
"Oh, Libby, we couldn't!" Alexandra said, positively aghast.  
  
"Of course we could! Everyone else is either in bed, or having a party of their own! Nobody's going to notice ten random Hufflepuff girls sneaking out the window." (A/N: Ooh, Libby has a bad-ass side!)  
  
"Even if we don't, we couldn't risk ruining our reputations," Hannah replied. "I say we have a sensible girls' night in."  
  
"Yeah?" Claire agreed. "We could all have a sleepover here in the common room?"  
  
"Here, everyone go get your pillows and pyjamas, and I'll Transfigure these flowers into sleeping bags," Janinah said. All the girls scurried upstairs, but Rose and Hannah lagged behind.  
  
"Hannah?" Rose asked.  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Cheerleading will make me popular, right?"  
  
"Of course! That's what it's for! Don't worry, Rose, you're going to be quite popular. Why, you're our protégé!"  
  
"I am?" The first year was quite excited.  
  
"You are," Hannah said, leading her up to her dorm. In a matter of minutes the girls all came rushing back down and as promised Janinah had Transfigured sleeping bags for all of them.  
  
Meanwhile in the third-year Ravenclaw girls dormitory, Aemilia and her friend Ambrosia Landry were discussing their position as cheerleaders.  
  
"It's just thrilling, that's what it is," Ambrosia said.  
  
"It is," Aemilia agreed, not really listening. "Just thrilling." Aemilia was a daydreamer, easily. Ambrosia was more of a realist, almost to a fault, but Aemilia had a tendency to sort of drift off into her own little world and stay there for a while.  
  
"I mean, cheerleaders! We're some of the first Ravenclaw cheerleaders Hogwarts has ever had! It's positively splendiferous!" Ambrosia had a tendency to use words that nobody ever used.  
  
"Positively," Aemilia agreed again.  
  
"Are you even listening, Aemilia?" But Aemilia had already drifted off to sleep.  
  
In the Slytherin common room, Gina Dublin, a sixth year, was writing in her diary. She had red hair and green eyes, a typical Irish looking girl, and had always felt like the Sorting Hat had misplaced her. All her friends were in Ravenclaw or Hufflepuff or Gryffindor. None of the Slytherins liked her- they thought she was too nice. But Gina never minded that- she was too busy concentrating on her poetry. Yes, poetry. She wanted to be a poet. So she kept a diary. Every day she wrote in her diary, no matter how exciting her day was.  
  
Today was a very exciting day. She'd been selected for the cheerleading squad. She wished she wouldn't have to compete against her friends though. But she knew they didn't care who won. Actually, her three best friends were all cheerleaders- the aforementioned Hufflepuff Janinah, a Ravenclaw named Jade, and a Gryffindor named Georgina. A well-rounded group.  
  
But all was well in the land of Gina Dublin, and for that matter the world of Hogwarts. 


	5. DRACO! NEVILLE! DRACO! NEVILLE! FLEU...

A/N: In case you haven't noticed, I'm writing this in British English, not American English, so that's why it's different spellings of stuff and different words.  
  
*****Chapter Five*****  
  
"Are you as keyed up as I am for cheerleading?" Georgina asked Jade as they made their way into the common room. Within the four of them Georgina and Jade were better friends, and Janinah and Gina were better friends, mainly because of the proximity of their tables.  
  
"Well, I didn't actually try out for cheerleading, but I'm still keen I suppose," Jade said as they sat down back to back and turned around to talk more.  
  
At the Ravenclaw table, the new Ravenclaw cheerleading captain Phoebe Tilks and her best friend Rochelle Rhodes, called Rockie, were talking. They were in seventh year. They, shockingly, were talking about cheerleading.  
  
"I'm so glad you got on the cheerleading squad," Rockie said. "You're going to have fun!"  
  
"Yeah, I guess so," Phoebe replied. "I do love flipping and cartwheels."  
  
"No kidding, Phoebs," Rockie said jokingly.  
  
Meanwhile at the Gryffindor table, Trixie and her best friend Evelyn Trevelyn were talking about how they both have crushes- Trixie's on infamous Slytherin bad-ass Draco Malfoy and Evelyn's on clumsy Gryffindor cutie Neville Longbottom. (A/N: This is serious foreshadowing for a story we have in the making.) And of course they were both cheerleaders.  
  
"Gee, Ev, I wish Malfoy would actually pay attention to me sometimes," Trixie said dreamily.  
  
"I think Neville's a cutie," Evelyn said, not even listening to Trixie.  
  
"At least yours' isn't a hopeless case," Trixie replied. "I mean, not only is Draco a year older AND a Slytherin which means he hates Gryffindors, he's also got a girlfriend, that Pansy person."  
  
"Neville's so sweet," Evelyn said, staring off into space.  
  
"Will you LISTEN?" Trixie said, frustrated. "We have to come up with a plan to get Draco to dump Pansy and go out with me!"  
  
"I love Neville."  
  
"AAAGH! ENOUGH WITH NEVILLE! WE'RE WORRYING ABOUT MY BOY PROBLEMS RIGHT NOW!"  
  
"Mmmmm. Neville's dreamy."  
  
"DRACO!"  
  
"NEVILLE!"  
  
"DRACO!"  
  
"NEVILLE!"  
  
"DRACO!"  
  
"NEVILLE!"  
  
"CAT FIGHT!" someone yelled as Trixie and Evelyn started to wage a full-out shouting match.  
  
"Hm, Defence Against the Dark Arts first period," Ron said as he, Harry and Hermione made their way down the corridor to the Defence Against the Dark Arts classroom. Shortly down the way, a voice called out from behind them.  
  
"Hermione! Hey, Hermione! Wait up!" Ravenna came running down the corridor and caught up with Hermione.  
  
"Oh, hey, Ron, Harry, have you met Ravenna Carmichael?" Hermione asked them. They both shook their heads.  
  
"Hi, Ravenna."  
  
"Hi, Ron, hi, Harry, Hermione's told me such a lot about you," Ravenna said, and she and Hermione giggled.  
  
"I'll catch up to you after Defence Against the Dark Arts, okay?" Hermione said, and without waiting for an answer she and Ravenna walked ahead of them laughing and talking. Ron and Harry shot each other confused looks. They were both clearly under the impression that Hermione was too much of a bookworm to ever make any other friends besides them. But they were wrong. Obviously, there were other girls in the Gryffindor fifth-year dormitory that weren't Hermione, Lavender or Parvati. Hermione never wanted to make friends with Lavender or Parvati, that was a given, but Ravenna wasn't a ditzy Divination-head like they were.  
  
They pushed it out of their minds because when they got to the Defence Against the Dark Arts classroom, they were shocked by who the teacher was. She hadn't been present at the first night's supper, so they were still waiting to find out who it was. But when they walked into the classroom, they saw it was most certainly NOT who they were expecting.  
  
"FLEUR??????????????????" 


	6. Stop Snogging, You Two

A/N: In case you haven't noticed, this is when they're in fifth year, it's instead of OotP, and we're pretending there's no impending war threatening the wizarding world, okay? Okay.  
  
*****Chapter Six*****  
  
"So it's true? Fleur Delacour, the former Beauxbatons champion, is the new Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher?"  
  
"I can't believe it! Fleur Delacour's the new Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher!"  
  
"I never would have thought Fleur Delacour would be the new Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher!"  
  
This was the talk amongst the Gryffindors- and the rest of Hogwarts, but Harry Potter isn't in their house, so nobody bothers mentioning them- that day. Nobody could believe Fleur Delacour, the blonde part-veela who had been Beauxbatons' champion in the Triwizard Tournament the previous year, was the new Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher. Ron had already decided it was his new favourite subject, although he'd have a hard time paying attention, and Harry had finally figured out the meaning of the letter he'd sent her. If it even had one.  
  
"Well, I suspect we'll be having quite an interesting year in Defence Against the Dark Arts," Hermione said to Ron, Harry and Ravenna as they made their way out of the classroom.  
  
"Yeah, no kidding," Ron halfway said, trying not to drool as they reached the staircase.  
  
"Well..." Hermione started, "Some of us appreciate Defence Against the Dark Arts because they want to learn. Not just because they always go ga-ga over the teacher." Ron ducked just in case a book was coming toward his head, but there was none.  
  
"Hermione? Why aren't you throwing a book at my head?" Ron asked, slightly worried for both the safety of his head and because something must be seriously wrong with Hermione if she wasn't throwing a book at his head. But Hermione and Ravenna had already taken off down the corridor.  
  
At supper, Dumbledore stood up to make another announcement. "I'm sure by now all of you have met our new Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher, Mademoiselle Fleur Delacour." There was applause. "I trust you will all treat her with respect as you would with any other teacher." More applause. "Now enjoy your supper!" And with that the students of Hogwarts began dinner.  
  
At the Hufflepuff table, all ten cheerleaders were eagerly talking and awaiting the impending hemming party. Laura and Eleanor were drinking pumpkin juice as if their lives depended on it (they were under the pretence it would keep them awake all night). Alexandra and Libby were fixing each others' hair. Janinah was teaching Rose a Polka-dot Charm. Claire and Mimi were just talking and being Claire and Mimi. Susan was reviewing the Sparkling Charm with Hannah, so that way both of them would be able to make the skirts sparkle at the same time and therefore the sparkling would take half as much time as it would if just Susan was doing it.  
  
"I'm so glad it's Friday!" Laura said as she downed another glass of pumpkin juice. "We can stay up all night and not have to get up early in the morning!"  
  
"We won't go to sleep at all!" Eleanor enthused. She and Laura toasted each other, then threw back another glass of pumpkin juice. The other eight girls rolled their eyes and sighed.  
  
"You guys, I think I've got this Polka-Dot Charm!" Rose grinned, pointing her wand at her goblet and turning it pink with blue polka-dots.  
  
"Great, Rose!" the other girls said, smiling at her.  
  
"Hey, you guys?" Alexandra asked. "Do you think Libby's hair looks good this way?" She pointed to Libby, whose hair was in a cute French twist.  
  
"Yeah, I really like it," Janinah said, brandishing a pair of gold and black hair chopsticks. "Here, add these." Alexandra took the hair chopsticks and put them in Libby's hair. All the girls murmured approval.  
  
"Oh, my goodness," Susan said, looking at her watch. "Supper's nearly over! We should get up to the common room if we want to get started!" She paused, then added "Don't you love this watch? My aunt gave it to me!"  
  
All the girls groaned, gathered their things and headed out of the Great Hall, passing Zinnia Rafanafagan, a fifth-year Slytherin cheerleader, and her boyfriend Monty Rodgers, who were snogging behind a statue at the entrance of the Great Hall.  
  
"Stop snogging, you two, or I'll have to report you to Professor Snape," said Hannah, the ever-perfect prefect. Zinnia and Monty blushed and quickly exited in the direction of the Slytherin common room. 


	7. Awfully Random Songs As Performed by the...

Disclaimer: We do not own "My froggy is purple" or "Happy Birthday" or "Cellblock Tango" or "We Love You Conrad".  
  
A/N: A lot of this was Purplepolkadot21's idea, not NoPhotosPlease, although it can be said she enjoyed writing it just as much as Purplepolkadot21.  
  
*****Chapter Seven*****  
  
The first thing the Hufflepuff cheerleaders did when they got to the common room was go upstairs and get their teddy bears and pillows and pyjamas and everything else they'd need for, as Laura and Eleanor said, "NOT sleeping!" Janinah transfigured more sleeping bags for "NOT sleeping!" And everyone else washed their faces and did their hair for "NOT sleeping!" They didn't brush teeth cause they were going to be eating some snacks but they did all their other nightly routines.  
  
"You know how late I'm going to stay up?" Laura asked, her eyes wide and a big silly grin on her face. "ALL NIGHT!"  
  
"You know how late I'M going to stay up?" Eleanor asked. "NEVER!"  
  
All nine of the other girls looked at her like she was fanatical. "El, that doesn't make any sense," Janinah said, shaking her head and sighing.  
  
"I think she meant FOREVER!" Laura said, jumping up and down. "Cause I'm obtainable to stay up FOREVER!"  
  
"Right you will, Laura, right you will," Hannah sighed.  
  
"ME TOO!" Eleanor said, grabbing Laura's hands and jumping up and down in a circle with her.  
  
"Riiiiiiiiiiiight," all the other girls said, shrugging and setting up their sleeping bags for "NOT sleeping!"  
  
"My aunt who works at the Ministry of Magic has this same exact sleeping bag!!!" Susan said happily, pointing at Rose's sleeping bag.  
  
"YAY! I am popular! A cheerleader's AUNT who works in the MINISTRY OF MAGIC has the same SLEEPING BAG as me!" Rose said, happily jumping up and down and singing "My froggy is purple, your froggy is green!" over and over.  
  
All the other cheerleaders stared, not knowing whether to hit her and make her come to her right mind or just let her croon and get the song wedged in all their heads.  
  
Alexandra and Libby had an idea. "HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOOOOOUUUU! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOOOOOUUUUU! HAPPY BIIIIIIRTHDAAAAY TO YOOOOOOOUUUUUUUU! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TOOOOOOOO YOOOOOOOUUUUU!"  
  
"It's no-one's birthday!" Hannah yelped. Alexandra and Libby shrugged.  
  
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOOOOOUUUU! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOOOOOUUUUU! HAPPY BIIIIIIRTHDAAAAY TO YOOOOOOOUUUUUUUU! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TOOOOOOOO YOOOOOOOUUUUU!" The rest of the cheerleaders were by now so confused, they just let it be.  
  
"POP!" Susan shouted.  
  
"SIX?" Claire added.  
  
"SQUISH!" Eleanor joined in.  
  
"UH-UH!" Laura exclaimed.  
  
"CICERO!" Hannah said.  
  
"LIPSCHICZ!" Mimi roared.  
  
"HE HAD IT COMING! HE HAD IT COMING! HE ONLY HAD HIMSELF TO BLAME! IF YOUD'A BEEN THERE, IF YOUD'A SEEN IT, I BETCHA YOU WOULD HAVE DONE THE SAME!" all six of them sang. Except for Claire, who said "I BETCHA YOU WOULD HAVE DONE THE SAME???" Then Susan began a monologue about someone popping their gum and her shooting him. They sang another chorus. Then Claire talked about how she put arsenic in some Mormon chap with six wives' drink. Then Eleanor strut about how she stabbed a guy ten times with a carving knife. Subsequently Laura began a monologue in Hungarian that none of them understood, and for that matter nobody knew she knew Hungarian, but she wasn't guilty.  
  
Then Hannah started a story about how she, her sister (yes, gasp, she has a sister! Not really.) and her boyfriend were hanging out and she went to get more ice and she found them making out so she shot them both.  
  
"THEY HAD IT COMING!" Hannah sang alone.  
  
"THEY HAD IT COMING!" the other five echoed in the background as if in a round but not really.  
  
"THEY HAD IT COMING!" Hannah sang again.  
  
"THEY HAD IT COMING!" the other five echoed.  
  
"THEY HAD IT COMING ALL ALONG!" Hannah sang. The other five echoed her again.  
  
"I DIDN'T DO IT!"  
  
"SHE DIDN'T DO IT!"  
  
"BUT IF I'D DONE IT,"  
  
"BUT IF SHE'D DONE IT,"  
  
"HOW COULD YOU TELL ME THAT I WAS WRONG!"  
  
Then Mimi began a monologue about someone named Al who she went out with who had a lot of girlfriends and a boyfriend, so she killed him too. They sang more, while all the while Rose was still singing "My froggy is purple, your froggy is green!" and Alexandra and Libby were singing "HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOOOOOUUUU! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOOOOOUUUUU! HAPPY BIIIIIIRTHDAAAAY TO YOOOOOOOUUUUUUUU! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TOOOOOOOO YOOOOOOOUUUUU!" And Janinah was just standing there quietly.  
  
But suddenly she got an idea. "WE LOVE YOU CONRAD, OH YES WE DO! WE LOVE YOU CONRAD, AND WE'LL BE TRUE! WHEN YOU'RE NOT NEAR US, WE'RE BLUE! OH, CONRAD, WE LOVE YOU!"  
  
All the girls turned to look at her, pausing in their songs, and then looked at each other in perfect harmony. "WE LOVE YOU CONRAD, OH YES WE DO! WE LOVE YOU CONRAD, AND WE'LL BE TRUE! WHEN YOU'RE NOT NEAR US, WE'RE BLUUUUUUUUUUUUE! OH CONRAD, WE LOVE YOU!"  
  
Suddenly Justin Finch-Fletchley came down from his dorm room, hearing the noise, and saw the girls singing "We Love You Conrad" at the tops of their lungs. He took one look at them, then turned around and went back upstairs.  
  
"Oh, my God, you guys, we could use that for a cheer!" Libby exclaimed.  
  
"Yeah, since Michael's the captain of the Quidditch team, we can sing 'We love you Michael'" Alexandra said, jumping up and down.  
  
"Yeah!" all the other cheerleaders agreed.  
  
And so the Hufflepuff cheerleaders' hemming party began. 


	8. The Huffleypuffley Hemming Party is Over

*****Chapter Two*****  
  
"Well, we're back for another year at the old dump," Ron said as they got off the carriage and walked into the Great Hall, ready to watch the first years get sorted.  
  
"RON!" Hermione chastised. "Don't call Hogwarts a dump. It's a wonderful place!" And with that she began a long-winded description of Hogwarts' history. Ron and Harry just sighed and rolled their eyes as they found a seat at the Gryffindor table. They watched the first years file in and make a cluster near the stool where the Sorting Hat sat. It began to sing.  
  
"Gryffindors who seek adventure Always find their way Because they are the bravest lads And they always make their pay.  
  
Ravenclaws who treasure knowledge Who find the logic fun Will become the clever leaders They are always the witty ones.  
  
Hufflepuffs who make their friends Are always shiny and bright They do their work and have high spirits And never get in fights.  
  
Slytherins who get their dues Will end up how they like With stamina and great power And will never need a mic.  
  
Now my tale has reached its end And it's time for you to know Put me on and I will tell you Where you ought to go!"  
  
With that, the hat called out "Ainsworth, Charlotte!" and the sorting begun. Charlotte was a cute girl with brown curls and brown eyes who was sorted into Ravenclaw.  
  
Then the sorting progressed. After the sorting, Dumbledore stood up to make an announcement.  
  
"I am happy to see all of you back this year," he began. "This year, we are going to be having cheerleading teams for our house Quidditch teams!" Harry could hear Lavender and Parvati's excited squeals. It figures, he thought.  
  
"Cheerleaders???" Hermione asked. "Quidditch is a wizarding sport. They're going to corrupt it with cheerleading!"  
  
"I don't think it's a half bad idea," Ron said, slightly grinning.  
  
"That's just because you want to see all the girls in their short outfits," Hermione snarled at him. Ron just blushed and stole a glance at one of the his fellow Gryffindors, a girl named Trixie Tompkins who had rather flippy blonde hair and who Ron imagined would look quite cute in a cheerleading skirt. Hermione knocked him in the back of the head, and muttered something sounding a lot like chauvinist.  
  
"I think cheerleading would be a lot of fun!" a girl younger than them called Natalie McDonald said. "Back home I was a gymnast!" She then proceeded to get down on the floor and put her legs behind her head, with Ron gaping silently at her. Hermione rolled her eyes and whacked him in the back of the head again.  
  
"HEY!" Ron said, coming to his senses. "Stop that!"  
  
"Stop being such a pig and I will!" Hermione hissed back. Ron glared at her, then turned to Harry, who had just been sitting there the whole time.  
  
"What do you think about it, Harry?" Ron asked.  
  
"Mmmm. Cho.. What?" said Harry, who had obviously been daydreaming. "Oh. What was the question?"  
  
"He asked what you think about this cheerleading business," Hermione said. "Honestly, Harry. You really ought to be more subtle. People might think that you're in love with someone." Ron gave a cough sounding suspiciously like Cho and Harry blushed.  
  
"I am not," he defended himself. "And I think that it's fine if they have cheerleaders. It's the girls' business if they want to cheerlead, not mine."  
  
At that moment Fred and George came into the hall and sat down at the table with them. "Hullo!" they said in unison.  
  
"Where were you?" Ron asked. The twins grinned at each other.  
  
"Oh, just putting some. advertisements for our joke shop up," Fred said cryptically. Harry, Ron and Hermione looked at the twins strangely.  
  
"Let's just say some of our least-favourite Slytherins aren't going to be too happy," George said.  
  
Hermione let out an exasperated sigh. "Jokesters pulling pranks right and left and cheerleaders all in one day. What is the world coming to?" Grabbing her bag, she headed out of the Great Hall and upstairs to her room.  
  
Meanwhile at the Hufflepuff table two fourth-years called Alexandra Morgan and Libby Roderick were excitedly chatting about the idea of a cheerleading squad. They had been friends before coming to Hogwarts and they were both rather preppy. Alexandra had straight red hair and green eyes and Libby was a blue-eyed brunette. They were both anxious to try out for cheerleading.  
  
"Do you think we're going to get real cheerleading uniforms, or have to wear robes?" Libby asked.  
  
"I hope we get uniforms. How could you do a backflip in a robe?" Alexandra replied. Libby nodded.  
  
"Yeah, true. But this place is so old-fashioned. Would they let us wear the uniforms? They have a hissy-fit if we even wear something weird in our hair," Libby replied.  
  
"I know, remember when we overheard McGonagall telling off that Gryffindor girl cause she had a butterfly clip?" Alexandra added. Libby laughed and agreed.  
  
Behind them and to the right at the Ravenclaw table a girl named Aemilia Jenston and her boyfriend Kai Montmarte were discussing the cheerleading thing too.  
  
"You should really go out for cheerleading," Kai told her.  
  
"I don't know, Kai," she said hesitantly. "I mean, cheerleading is degrading to women. And I look really bad in short skirts. But."  
  
"But what, 'Milia?"  
  
"It would be fun, wouldn't it? I mean, I can't play Quidditch to save my life. I might as well find something to do."  
  
"That's the spirit!" Kai said. As the two shared a brief hug, two sixth- year Slytherin girls named Madeleine Cook and Nancy Peach walked past.  
  
"Oh, how cute!" Nancy said teasingly. "Two ickle lovebirds!"  
  
"Aww!" Madeleine made kissy noises at them. "Don't let us interrupt you."  
  
"Bug off," Aemilia said. "I'm just glad I have a boyfriend who's supportive of me trying out for cheerleading."  
  
"My boyfriend's supportive of me trying out for cheerleading too," Madeleine said a little too quickly.  
  
"Like anyone would ever go out with either of you," Aemilia shot back scathingly.  
  
"Oh, that's harsh. But who needs romance when there's cheerleading?" Nancy asked, leading Madeleine away. 


	9. Ron's Surprising and Sort Of Strange Sec...

A/N: If the last name of Abercrombie sounds familiar, it's because Elena is Euan Abercrombie's twin. (And yes, her brother is in Hufflepuff and she is in Ravenclaw.) And purplepolkadot21 is the creator of Conrad Markerson. He is 100% her character. Does not belong to noPhotosPlease. Oh, yes, and in this version of Harry's fifth year, Ron does not go out for Quidditch, ever, but Ginny does. Because I think that whole plotline is pointless and all it does is create a stupid song, and we don't need that, but I like the idea of Ginny going out for Quidditch.  
  
*****Chapter Nine*****  
  
"Hey, Sammy," Elena Abercrombie, a second year Ravenclaw cheerleader called to her best friend Samantha Hartley as they made their way to the Great Hall on Saturday morning for breakfast. Since it was Saturday, not everyone was there- they'd already eaten, or maybe they were sleeping in. And the Gryffindors and Slytherins had Quidditch practice on the field at the same time, just to cause a conflict.  
  
"Hey, Elena," Samantha replied, falling into step with Elena. "What's your plan for today?"  
  
"We have cheerleading practice, actually, in like an hour," Elena replied. "We have to come up with some cheers for next week's Hufflepuff vs. Ravenclaw match."  
  
"Cool," Samantha said as they headed into the Great Hall. "I'm just going to be hanging out in the common room, I guess, and doing my Charms homework."  
  
"Fun," Elena said, checking her watch. "Oh, damn, I have to be on the front lawn for cheer practice in five minutes! I'll see you later!"  
  
"Okay, I'll be in the common room!" Samantha replied as Elena ran off. Samantha shrugged and headed into the Great Hall for breakfast. On her way in, she passed Ruby Skeffington and Bethany Hazard, two Gryffindor seventh years. Ruby had red hair that was cut with layers so it was always swingy and was relatively tall, and Bethany was of a short stature and had shiny, straight brown bobbed hair. They were both cheerleaders. In fact, Ruby was the captain of the Gryffindor squad. (A/N: Funny she hasn't come up already and she's the captain. Oh well.) They were discussing their plans for the squad.  
  
"I heard the Hufflepuffs hemmed their skirts five and three-quarters inches above their knees," Bethany said. She was very much the gossip queen and since she had at least sort-of friends in every house this worked to her advantage. Also, Bethany had a secret crush on Thomas Tremor, a seventh- year Hufflepuff Quidditch player who was always forgotten because he wasn't Cedric or Michael Corner or Zacharias Smith or anyone else in Hufflepuff.  
  
"They're so dippy," Ruby replied as they found a seat at the Gryffindor table. Bethany nodded in between taking furtive glances at Thomas and pretending like she wasn't. "Don't look now, but that Hufflepuff guy is totally checking you out," Ruby said conspiratorially to Bethany, who sat up straighter.  
  
"Really?"  
  
"Don't sound so thrilled," Ruby laughed. "But yeah, I think he really likes you."  
  
"You think?" Bethany said dreamily, propping her head up with her hand and staring into space.  
  
"Ah-duh, Bethy," Ruby replied. "That's what I just said. I'll never understand romance."  
  
"Oh, but it's. fabulous." Bethany drifted off languorously.  
  
"I dare you to go talk to him," their friend Wynne Delancey, also a seventh- year but not a cheerleader, a tall girl with blonde curly hair, said eagerly, sitting down.  
  
"Oh, my gosh, you so totally should," Ruby said enthusiastically, causing her red pigtails to perform quite a gymnastic entertainment.  
  
"Should I?" Bethany asked Ruby, since Wynne had initiated the dare. She nodded keenly, giving even more of a pigtail performance. "Okay, I'm going to."  
  
"AIIIEEE!" Ruby and Wynne squealed in perfect unison as Bethany stood up, brushed off her robe, and walked over to where Thomas was sitting at the Hufflepuff table with his friend Conrad Markerson, also a seventh-year, but not a Quidditch player, and Conrad's girlfriend, coincidentally Janinah, who'd started singing "We Love You Conrad". (Little did the other cheerleaders know, she meant her boyfriend Conrad, not the character Conrad Birdie from 'Bye Bye Birdie' like the other girls thought.)  
  
"Hey, Conrad, hey, Janinah," Bethany said. "Hi, Thomas."  
  
"H-hi, Bethany," Thomas stumbled. "Um, w-what's new with, um, you?" He was blushing a furious shade of red and she was turning pink too. Janinah and Conrad were trying to stifle their giggles.  
  
"Nothing much," Bethany drawled in her flirtatious voice. "What about you?"  
  
"N-nothing."  
  
"Here, let's get to the point," Janinah said, standing up and interrupting them. "You like him, he likes you, so how about you go on a date on the next Hogsmeade weekend and in the meanwhile just make it official and say you're boyfriend and girlfriend?" Bethany and Thomas turned bright red. "Okay?" They nodded, not making eye contact with Janinah or each other. "Okay! It's final. Bethany Hazard and Thomas Tremor are going out!" She shouted the last part so loud that everyone in the Great Hall turned and looked at them. Ruby and Wynne stood up and started shrieking. The first years mainly looked scared. Everyone else had mixed reactions.  
  
When Bethany returned to the Gryffindor table, Ruby and Wynne grabbed her hands and started spinning in a circle while jumping up and down. (And patting their heads and rubbing their stomachs. no, that was the author being sarcastic. Don't listen to her.) They calmed down after a minute and sat back down.  
  
"I can't believe it!" Ruby squealed.  
  
"Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, Bethany, oh my gosh!" Wynne said.  
  
"I can't believe it either," Bethany said. "Thank God for that Janinah."  
  
"Well now that's settled, let's get back to cheerleading. There's a Gryffindor vs. Slytherin match immediately preceding the Hufflepuff vs. Ravenclaw one next weekend, and we need some cheers," Ruby said, bringing all three of them back to planet Earth.  
  
Further down the table, Ron, Harry, Hermione, Ravenna, Ginny, Katie Bell, Angelina Johnson, Alicia Spinnet, Fred and George, Lee Jordan, Neville, Dean Thomas, Seamus Finnigan, Lavender, Parvati, and Ravenna's ex-best friend Jasmine were all sitting and talking. Ravenna and Hermione were ignoring Lavender, Parvati and Jasmine and Lavender, Parvati and Jasmine weren't talking to Ravenna and Hermione.  
  
"Fred, George, Alicia, Katie, Harry," Angelina addressed the Quidditch team. "There's a match next weekend and we're still short one person." Ginny, who was a closet Quidditch fanatic, sat up straighter.  
  
"Maybe I could try out?" Ginny suggested quietly.  
  
"Sure, Ginny," Alicia said. "Come to the field after breakfast. We have practice."  
  
"Okay!" Ginny was feeling very enthusiastic now.  
  
In the midst of all of this, Ron was whispering something to Katie, which caused Katie to turn red. "Sure, of course," she said quietly but happily. Suddenly, all of them were in Katie and Ron's faces, eager to know what happened.  
  
"Ron. just. asked. me. to. go. out. with. him." 


	10. Yet Another Romantic Interest All Before...

A/N: Wow, it's been a while. After this chappy, I'm waiting for 30 reviews so R&R and I'll update!  
  
*****Chapter 10*****  
  
"WHAT????" Harry, Hermione, Ravenna, Ginny, Angelina, Alicia, Fred and George, Lee, Neville, Dean, Seamus, Lavender, Parvati, and Jasmine all stared at Ron and Katie.  
  
"Well," Alicia said. "Today is certainly a day for romance." Suddenly Harry stood up and walked over to where Cho was sitting with Marietta Edgecombe and Camilla Blue at the Ravenclaw table.  
  
"Hi, Harry," Cho said.  
  
"Hi," Marietta and Camilla intoned.  
  
"Hi, Cho," Harry replied, ignoring her friends completely. "I was just wondering, um, Cho, would you, um, like to, um, go on a date with me?"  
  
Cho turned bright pink. "Sure, Harry," she said, smiling at him. He smiled, and blushing furiously, went back to the Gryffindor table, where Fred and George started applauding him jokingly. When he sat down Lee clapped him on the back.  
  
"Good for you, Harry, you finally asked her out," he said. Harry turned even brighter red.  
  
"What do you mean, finally?" asked the completely clueless Ginny. Everyone else at the table looked at her blankly, save Neville, who looked as if he had the same question she did.  
  
"You mean, you haven't noticed?" Lavender asked. The rest of them nodded.  
  
"Noticed what?" Neville and Ginny both asked.  
  
"You know," Parvati said. "Harry likes Cho!" Ginny's jaw dropped, while Neville nodded.  
  
"Oh yeah, I knew that," Neville said.  
  
"I DIDN'T!" Ginny exclaimed.  
  
"It's really obvious, Ginny," Jasmine replied.  
  
"Yeah, Harry's been in love with Cho forever!" Parvati added.  
  
"And the feeling's mutual!" Lavender joined in.  
  
"They're a perfect couple!" all three of them sighed dreamily. Ginny sulked.  
  
"Well, good for you, Harry, you've finally done something other than play Quidditch, discover new magical objects or spells and save the world," Angelina said.  
  
"What?" Harry asked.  
  
"Oh, nothing," Angelina replied, twirling her hair.  
  
"Do any of you guys know what she's talking about?" Harry asked the group. They all shrugged, but when he got up they gave each other looks like, boy is he dense. 


	11. The Obscurity and Randomness of Stephani...

A/N: Okay. I lied. I said that I was waiting till 30 reviews. Well none of you reviewed, so I'm writing another chapter and hoping you review this one. Now we are really sad, so review or were not gonna post the next chapter until you do so HA!  
  
******Chapter Eleven*****  
  
"We signed up for Quidditch here first!" Draco Malfoy screamed at Angelina Johnson, even though he was not the captain of the Quidditch team and the captain should have been screaming, but Draco was, so HA.  
  
"We signed up for Quidditch here last week!"  
  
"What time?"  
  
"Tuesday!"  
  
"What time?"  
  
"Before you did!"  
  
"Nuh-uh!"  
  
"GET OFF THE FIELD!" Marcus Flint yelled at the top of his lungs to the Gryffindor squad and Ginny, who were about ready to Stun the Slytherins.  
  
"YOU GET OFF THE FIELD!" Fred and George yelled back. This escalated into a humongous screaming match, which Madam Hooch heard in her office and came out to see what was going on.  
  
"What is going on?"  
  
"We signed up for practice!" Alicia cried.  
  
"We signed up for practice too!" Malcolm Baddock screamed back.  
  
"Well, we are just going to have to give the field to the Gryffindors, because I can see that they need to try out a new player for their team," Madam Hooch said, beaming at Ginny, who beamed back. The Slytherins grumbled but walked off the field, leaving the Gryffindors to themselves.  
  
"Ginny, let's see what you've got," Angelina said once they were all ready.  
  
"Happy to show you!" Ginny smiled, hopping on her broom and flying into the sky. "What do you want me to do now?" she asked, hovering in the air. Angelina, Alicia, Katie, Harry, Fred and George were impressed.  
  
"No need to do anything else!" Angelina called out. "You've already made the team!"  
  
*****  
  
"So, you guys," Phoebe said as the Ravenclaw cheerleaders gathered in their common room.  
  
"Yeah." Daphne Greengrass, Padma Patil, Mandy Brocklehurst, Jade, Ambrosia, Aemilia, Charlotte and Rhyssa said unenthusiastically.  
  
"We are the most boring of all the cheerleading squads in all of Hogwarts," Daphne thought.  
  
"Why isn't there anyone interesting in Ravenclaw but Cho?" thought Mandy.  
  
"My sister is sooooo lucky to be in an exciting house," Padma thought.  
  
"Why did I have to be smart? I could have been 'brave' and been a Gryffindor, then I would at least be in a house that would give me attention," thought Charlotte.  
  
"Oh well, we are all underrated in Ravenclaw," Jade explained. "But at least your more important, Padma."  
  
"But that's just because my sister is in Gryffindor," Padma shot back.  
  
"Whatever," Mandy sarcastically said.  
  
"Hey, I am in the same section of the alphabet as Hermione, that means I am important for a whole sentence," Daphne said.  
  
"Well. umm.. I'm not important whatsoever, and I am proud of it!" Aemilia practically yelled across the common room.  
  
"Yes! I am even less important than you!" Ambrosia screamed.  
  
"At least you have a boyfriend, Aemilia!" Rhyssa said. "I don't even get one of those!"  
  
"Well you have a best friend," Aemilia retorted.  
  
"So? Nobody finds that attractive. Romance makes people read these things! If there was no romance it'd have to be a karaoke fic for anyone to read it!"  
  
"Well, at least all of us are more important than Piers Polkiss," said Charlotte.  
  
As we venture on to another part of Hogwarts, in fact the more important Gryffindor common room.  
  
"Hmm. I feel like dancing around like an idiot," thought Stephanie Rydell, a Gryffindor seventh-year. Suddenly, background music came on from nowhere and she started dancing in circles, kicking and twirling, pretending she was an extra from 'West Side Story', except she couldn't dance, so she just sort of spun in circles and looked really dizzy. "Till death do us part, think PINK!" she screamed randomly.  
  
At that very moment, Hermione, Jasmine, Ravenna, Parvati, Lavender, Harry, Ron, Lee, Fred, George, Ginny, Angelina, Alicia, Katie, Neville, Dean, Seamus, Ruby, Wynne, Bethany, Emma Dobbs, Natalie McDonald, Trixie, Georgina, Evelyn, Amber Lorraine (a seventh-year) and her best friend Tabitha Zephyr, and Colin and Dennis all appeared from every possible entrance to the common room in their various cliques, talking and laughing, but stopping when they saw Stephanie "dancing around like an idiot" as she put it. Everyone was in shock at the sight of her. They felt bad for her because she was so unbelievably stupid.  
  
Tabitha was the first to come to her senses. "Stephanie, what in the name of all things sacred are you DOING?"  
  
Stephanie turned red, then straightened herself out and said merely "Dancing."  
  
"Then dance all you like, but why do you feel the need to scream 'Think PINK' at the top of your lungs?" asked Amber.  
  
This Stephanie didn't have an answer for.  
  
Thank goodness.  
  
"Well I'll leave all of you guys alone since you obviously don't like my dancing." And with that Stephanie Rydell retreated into obscurity, forever to remain until she's needed next. 


	12. The Gryffindor vs Slytherin Match

A/N: Oh screw it. I'm writing another chapter. I'm sort of on a roll so bear with me.  
  
*****Chapter Twelve*****  
  
"You guys, come on, the first match is today!" Hannah screamed, causing the rest of the Hufflepuff cheerleaders to go running up to the Hufflepuff box, her in the lead. "We have to support Gryffindor, because they are always the good guys and Slytherin is evil."  
  
"And if we support Gryffindor then we look more important," added Alexandra.  
  
"Good thinking!" Hannah said, smiling, then turned to the field, where the Gryffindor and Slytherin Quidditch teams, as well as their respective cheerleaders, were gathering. "WHOOOO! GO GRYFFINDOR!"  
  
"YEAH! GRYFFINDOR ROCKS!" the rest of the cheerleaders screamed, in an effort to look more important and nice at the same time.  
  
Georgina (a Gryffindor cheerleader in case you've forgotten) looked up at where they were sitting and grinned, mainly because she knew that since she was indeed a Gryffindor, she was more important than them. But she would cheer them on in the second match, the Hufflepuff vs. Ravenclaw one, later today and look gracious and pleasant, because that is what Gryffindors do. (But she would also be cheering on the Ravenclaws.)  
  
The Slytherin cheerleaders were down on their side of the field trying to decide which of their cheers they should use.  
  
"Wait," said Yvette Tomato, a seventh-year. "Harry Potter is on their team."  
  
"So?" said Zinnia (remember, the snoggy-snog girl?).  
  
"So let's use the cheer we can really get under his skin with. Maybe it'll distract him."  
  
"Gee, Yvette, I just don't know if we should do that, I mean, someone could get their feelings hurt," said Gina, the ever-sensitive.  
  
"Go back to Hufflepuff," Yvette replied bitingly, ignoring her. "So what do you guys think?"  
  
"Sure, I guess it can't hurt anything," said Pansy.  
  
"Well then it's settled. We'll do the cheer."  
  
The Gryffindor squad was discussing the same matter on their side of the field.  
  
"They're Slytherins," said Jasmine. "We should use the cheer that'll make them burn."  
  
"Yeah, I mean, they deserve to be busted for their evil Harry-hating ways," said Emma, who had the tiniest crush on Harry.  
  
Not picking up on the romantic undertones of Emma's statement, Ruby replied, "Yes, we should use that cheer and make them feel bad, because we are the loving and caring and darn it, the most important people in the school and we are going to make something of it!"  
  
Not wanting to shut Ruby up, the other nine girls merely nodded and said, "Right!"  
  
Suddenly Lee Jordan began to announce things. "WELL NOW THE WHOLE POPULATION OF HOGWARTS IS GATHERED TO WATCH THE IMPORTANT HOUSE AND THE EVIL HOUSE COMPETE IN A QUIDDITCH GAME... EVEN THOUGH IT ONLY LOOKS LIKE ABOUT TWENTY PEOPLE HAVE SHOWN UP, BECAUSE WE ONLY ZOOM IN ON IMPORTANT CHARACTERS LIKE RON AND HERMIONE!"  
  
This was interrupted by Ginny screaming, "I'M RELATED TO RON AND HAVE A SECRET CRUSH ON HARRY! WHY CAN'T I BE IMPORTANT?"  
  
But since she was not Harry, Ron, or Hermione everyone ignored her.  
  
"SO LET'S START THE MATCH!" Lee shouted as Harry, Ginny, Angelina, Alicia, Katie, Fred, George, Draco, Marcus, and the rest of the Slytherin team (poor nameless them) flew into the air and Madam Hooch threw the Quaffle, Bludgers and Snitch into the air.  
  
"Hey, Potter," Malfoy called out. "Watch our cheerleaders!" Somehow Draco knew exactly which cheer the cheerleaders were doing, even though they only decided a minute ago.  
  
Harry looked down to see the Slytherin cheerleaders all in a line, clad in green outfits with silver and black accents, shaking their pom-poms and dancing in perfect unison, screaming things like "Go Malfoy!" and "Potter sucks!" Unexpectedly they dropped their pom-poms and began to clap and sing a song.  
  
"V-O-L-D-E-M-O-R-T is V-O-L-D-E-M-O-R-T and V-O-L-D-E-M-O-R-T is AWESOME!" they sang. That was all the song consisted of. But it was repeated enough times to really infuriate Harry. It was also enough to cause most of the students to freak out. ("Ohmigod, they're saying his NAME!")  
  
"HEY!" a voice, belonging to Ruby, yelled. Harry turned around and saw the Gryffindor cheerleaders dancing similarly to the way the Slytherins were, but they were wearing red outfits with gold trim. The same way as the Slytherins had, they dropped their pom-poms and started singing.  
  
"V-O-L-D-E-M-O-R-T is V-O-L-D-E-M-O-R-T cause V-O-L-D-E-M-O-R-T is EVIL!" sang the Gryffindor cheerleaders, smirking at the Slytherins, then looking up at Harry and grinning. Harry smiled back. The Slytherins weren't smiling. They were glowering at the Gryffindors. By now all of the Quidditch players had stopped to watch the cheerleaders fight it out.  
  
The two squads were singing their freakishly similar songs right up against one another. It was sort of annoying, but everyone knew better than to mess with battling cheerleaders.  
  
"V-O-L-D-E-M-O-R-T is V-O-L-D-E-M-O-R-T cause V-O-L-D-E-M-O-R-T is EVIL!"  
  
"V-O-L-D-E-M-O-R-T is V-O-L-D-E-M-O-R-T cause V-O-L-D-E-M-O-R-T is AWESOME!"  
  
"V-O-L-D-E-M-O-R-T is V-O-L-D-E-M-O-R-T-"  
  
"Cause V-O-L-D-E-M-O-R-T is-"  
  
"EVIL!"  
  
"AWESOME!"  
  
While all of this was happening, Harry had completely lost interest and was flying all over the Quidditch pitch looking for the Snitch. (Hmmmmmm. rhyming central. QuiddITCH, pITCH, SnITCH.) Draco, who was watching the cheerleaders, didn't notice this. Neither did anyone else. Which was why, after fifteen straight minutes of the Voldemort song, it seemed like an even bigger deal than usual that Harry caught the Snitch, because nobody'd been paying attention. They were all watching the cheerleaders.  
  
"HEY!" Harry screamed amidst the cheering. He sat on his broom at least a hundred feet in the air, holding the Snitch high up like it was the most important thing in the world. "HEY, I CAUGHT THE SNITCH!!!!!"  
  
Immediately the cheering stopped and everyone turned to look at Harry.  
  
"HARRY POTTER HAS THE SNITCH! AGAIN!" Lee Jordan screamed.  
  
This caused the Gryffindor cheerleaders so much happiness and the Slytherins so much anger that they forgot their cheer-war and started yelling things like "GO GRYFFINDOR!" and "HARRY SUCKS!" respectively. (Guess who's yelling what???) 


	13. See How Many Musicals We Can Reference A...

A/N: I need 20 more reviews or else.. You DIE!!!  
  
Disclaimer: We do not own The Snow Queen, or the Antichrist, or lasers (three guesses what it's from, read the profile which I shall update right now), or Little Shop of Horrors, or Cats, or Anything Goes, or Bye Bye Birdie, or Grease, or Godspell  
  
*****Chapter Thirteen*****  
  
After the Quidditch match the Slytherin "gang" of cheerleaders went upstairs into the Slytherin common room with all of the Quidditch players to sulk and not attend the Hufflepuff vs. Ravenclaw game because they were evil.  
  
Meanwhile, the Gryffindors were heading up to their boxes, freezing in their cheerleading uniforms, but since they were cheerleaders, and they were dedicated, they decided to not care about being cold. They were showing spirit. And their legs. This caused the boys to show more spirit. So therefore, by showing their legs, they were showing spirit. (And we have now reached Run-On Sentence Land.)  
  
The Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws took the field. Everyone who didn't happen to A) Be a Hufflepuff or Ravenclaw, B) Lust for or go out with a Hufflepuff or Ravenclaw, or C) Be a Gryffindor cheerleader, left the field, including Lee Jordan, so Mary Jane, who was a Hufflepuff sixth-year with pink hair, decided to announce things because nobody else was.  
  
The game was chaos. The Hufflepuffs sang their "We Love You" song about every guy on the team, the Ravenclaws stood there apathetically except for Padma, who actually did something, and the Gryffindors cheered every time nobody else did.  
  
But that doesn't matter. What matters is Harry! Harry sat throughout the whole game, lusting for Cho. He sat there, and he waited. And he waited for the game to be over, so he could go talk to Cho. "I.. love.. CHO!!!!!!!!!!" he screamed every time anyone made a play. Of course, since he was Harry Potter, everyone listened. They were paying more attention to Harry than to the game. But of course they were. He's Harry! Everyone loves Harry. (Except us.)  
  
Well, anyways, Harry was screaming out "I love Cho!" every 10 seconds, and everyone started gossiping their little heads off about him. "Oh my god! He likes Cho!" Claire and Mimi were telling each other between cheers. Many times the few Slytherins who were still in the stands, started chanting "HARRY LOVES CHO," But it was pointless, because everyone already knew that already, since everyone knows everything about the famous Harry Potter.  
  
Cho, however was so caught up thinking about Harry, she totally forgot about the snitch.  
  
Anyhow, when the game was over (three guesses who won, it was Hufflepuff, since Cho was obsessing over Harry) everyone left the arena, except for Harry and Cho. Harry met Cho over at the benches where they sat and. well do you really want to know what they did. Three words. slip and slide.  
  
No, not really. They just made out. That's all. No problem.  
  
But, not speaking of which Harry and Cho were doing anymore, Malfoy was scheming. He was planning to take over the world. Well, just Hogwarts anyways. But are you really surprised? They always portray Malfoy like some minion of the Antichrist. Which he is, since his father is basically Voldie's best friend. "Best friend! Best friend! I've got you, and you've got me, we're best friends, best friends, best friends!" Voldie and Mr. Malfoy didn't really sing that, but it's the principle of the thing.  
  
Malfoy, was scheming. still. He was planning to get a laser and kill everyone with it. Little did he realize, electronics didn't work on Hogwarts grounds, so this was a crappy plan.  
  
Meanwhile on the other side of the castle that was Hogwarts, Alicia Spinnet was deciding when she graduated from Hogwarts she would work at a magazine where they feature things on deadly and lethal plants. (*wink wink*)  
  
As this was going on, Michael Corner was deciding that he wanted to work at a television show where they feature things on deadly and lethal plants.  
  
Also, Harry got a letter from Percy, ranting about his lust for Penelope Clearwater, and how she always loved roaming random stores in white dresses. She said she was really pretty in her new dress.  
  
And then of course there was Orla Quirke, a second year Ravenclaw was talking about her "Greaser" boyfriend, who she met over the summer vacation. That just so happened to go to Hogwarts, but she didn't know that. She thought he went to Beauxbatons, but he didn't. He was Jess MacWilliams, and he was a second year Hufflepuff.  
  
In McGonagall's office, Luna Lovegood, was trying to convince McGonagall to let her go on a cruise trip with her family, to Alaska. With her boyfriend, and some other random people. Just for fun. Too bad for her, her persuasion didn't work.  
  
Thomas Tremor and Bethany Hazard were falling in love after they said they would go out with each other. Wait, they already were in love. Oh well. So they decided to get engaged. Too bad they're still teenagers.  
  
Professor Binns was pondering. Professor Trelawney heard him mumbling something about wanting some cat to come down, and make him young again.  
  
Kai Montmarte (remember? Aemilia's boyfriend?) was feeling sad because his olive tree was dying. Why he had one, nobody knows. 


	14. The Ravenclaw Cheerleaders Get Their Ver...

A/N: Just decided there's nothing better to do than update. So I am.  
  
*****Chapter Fourteen*****  
  
Padma sat Phoebe, Ambrosia, Aemilia, Daphne, Mandy, Elena, Charlotte, Jade, and Rhyssa down in the Ravenclaw common room. She, being the only Ravenclaw cheerleader with spirit, had to lecture the other nine about not having any spirit. Are you surprised?  
  
"You guys don't have any spirit!" Padma lectured. The other nine girls looked at each other, shrugging.  
  
"Not our fault your sister is a Gryffindor and therefore you actually have some enthusiasm," Elena muttered under her breath.  
  
"Your brother is a Hufflepuff, and they're known for being preppy," Padma retorted, having heard Elena's sarcastic comment.  
  
"Yeah, but he's my brother. Parvati is your sister! You're twins, you share the enthusiasm gene. My brother is nearly a year older than me, we're just in the same grade, because the author thought my name sounded good!"  
  
The other nine girls stared blankly at her. Then Mandy decided to talk. "The only reason I'm here is because there aren't enough legitimate girl Ravenclaws in the books that aren't Cho or one of her friends, and therefore I am here by default, because I had the misfortune to have the same name as Mandy Moore."  
  
More blank looks as everyone stood up in preparation to yell things at each other. "Well, I have the same name as a character on Friends!" exclaimed Phoebe. "I have the same name as a character from Scooby Doo!" shouted Daphne. "I'm named after a kind of stone!" Jade screamed. "I'm named for." Aemilia began to cry out something equally random, but ran out of anything to say. "I have a boyfriend who's named after a kid in The Snow Queen and his last name is the same as the village from Moulin Rouge! TOP THAT!" Aemilia shouted.  
  
They stared at her strangely, then sat back in their seats. Padma resumed her lecture. "You guys, we're cheerleaders! We're meant to cheer, not sit there like apathetic brainiacs!"  
  
They all looked at Padma. "Um. Padma?" Rhyssa bravely began to talk. "We are apathetic brainiacs. That's why we're in Ravenclaw."  
  
Padma looked at the floor. "Oh."  
  
Parvati magically appeared at the door with Lavender and Jasmine. "Hey, Padma! Wanna go hang out and look at the new dress-robes catalog?" Padma perked up. She exited with the preppy Gryffindors and the rest of the Ravenclaw cheerleaders breathed a sigh of relief.  
  
"So, anything interesting happen lately?" asked Charlotte.  
  
"Ooh, I heard that Harry and Cho made out on the field after the game!" exclaimed Ambrosia.  
  
"No big surprise there," Jade said disdainfully. "I always overhear Cho talking about him with those friends of hers, Marietta and Camilla."  
  
Speaking of Cho, Marietta, and Camilla, they were up in the sixth-year girls' dormitory, talking. Cho was really the one talking, and Marietta and Camilla were listening patiently as Cho ranted on about Harry. 


	15. The Magical and Stunning Death of Ruby S...

A/N: This chapter shall actually have something to do with the plot. YAY!  
  
*****Chapter Fifteen*****  
  
Harry was sleeping. That would make sense, since it was the middle of the night. He was dreaming about Cho. (Duh.) They were on a date in Hogsmeade, and they were holding hands and eating chocolate. Then he stopped dreaming about Cho and suddenly he was dreaming about. VOLDEMORT!  
  
He awoke, under the spell of Voldemort. He was being possessed by Voldemort. This was mainly because he hadn't been taught the art of how to keep Voldemort out of his dreams in my version of his fifth year. But since Voldemort enjoyed possessing people (Quirrell, Ginny. do you see where I'm going with this?) he decided to possess Harry.  
  
As previously mentioned, Harry woke up. Under a zombie-like trance, he wandered down to the Gryffindor common room, where Ruby, Bethany and Wynne were sleeping in front of the fireplace in some transfigured sleeping bags. They had been talking about love and cheerleading, and then they'd decided to go to bed since they had class the next day. Being completely, head-to- toe controlled by Voldemort, Harry took out his wand and Stunned Bethany and Wynne. Then he Stunned Ruby, opened the window, Stunned her again for good measure, and tossed her Stunned body out the window, watching it drop. Then he went back upstairs, took out his broom, opened the window in the boys' dormitory, flew out the window to where Ruby lay, Stunned her again, and performed the Avada Kedavra curse on her.  
  
Yes, that's right. Under the spell of Voldemort, who used magical mind power to possess Harry, Harry killed Ruby Skeffington, the captain of the Gryffindor cheerleading squad. OH THE DRAMA AND SUSPENSE.  
  
Then Harry got back on his broom, flew back in the window, and went back to bed like nothing ever happened. Then Voldemort stopped possessing him and he continued to dream about Cho.  
  
*****  
  
The next morning everyone woke up like normal, not suspecting anything was wrong. Nobody suspected that Harry would be possessed and kill Ruby. So everyone went down to the Great Hall for breakfast and ate breakfast, talking about random stuff as usual. So when Bethany and Wynne finally woke up, since they were indeed Stunned by the possessed Harry Potter, and started screaming because Ruby was not there, it came as quite a shock to the two of them. They screamed, which is not surprising, and McGonagall magically materialized next to them as she has been known to do in times of crisis. Also not surprisingly, Harry, Ron, and Hermione appeared too. (Wow, thought you'd gotten rid of them for new original characters. NEVER. I SHALL NEVER GET RID OF THEM, CAUSE I CAN'T.)  
  
"Good heavens, girls, stop screaming," said McGonagall. "Now where is Ruby?" Don't ask how McGonagall knew Ruby was supposed to be there; but she did. Maybe Trelawney told her.  
  
Trixie and Evelyn held the door to the common room open so people of all houses could come see what was the matter. Luna Lovegood came in first, because she always randomly appears when the three of them gather. Then came all of the other important characters, then came all of the unimportant characters. The entire student population of Hogwarts was standing in the Gryffindor common room. Of course, since they were Gryffindors, it was big enough for the entire student population of Hogwarts. Had it been in the Ravenclaw room, nobody would be able to fit. The Ravenclaw cheerleaders could barely fit themselves.  
  
"Look out the window," a creepy, disembodied voice said, thus causing every single student of Hogwarts to look out the window. Then because something exciting had to happen, a fourth year Gryffindor named Chrissie Mass fell out the window because she was crowded out of it. Harry jumped from the crowd and, magically having his broom with him, he flew out of the window and caught her. Chrissie Mass passed out from the excitement and he flew her back in the window. (Yes, Harry can now fly through the windows that magically appeared in the common room and anywhere else.) Everyone applauded because Harry Potter, the famous Harry Potter, the boy who lived, saved Chrissie Mass from a painful death.  
  
Madam Pomfrey revived Chrissie Mass and everyone continued to look out the window, Chrissie going to the back of the crowd so she didn't fall out the window. Nobody else fell out the window. Instead, everyone saw the sight of Ruby's dead, dead, dead, dead, dead body. Everyone screamed and passed out and Wynne and Bethany screamed and then passed out. Many of the boys just disappeared, because they didn't need to scream or pass out, but the girls stayed, because they did have to scream and pass out. Ron had to calm down Katie, his GIRLFRIEND, so he stayed, and Harry had to calm down Cho, and Thomas tried to calm down Bethany, and Kai calmed down Aemilia, and Ernie calmed down Hannah, and Terry Boot calmed down Luna, because they were as of right now going out, and none of the Slytherins gave a care because they were evil, evil, evil, evil, evil.  
  
"Oh my goodness," exclaimed McGonagall. "Somebody, go get Professor Dumbledore!" Immediately, Emma Dobbs, a second-year Gryffindor cheerleader in case you've forgotten, ran out into the hallway, where Dumbledore was conveniently walking. She brought him inside the common room, where the sea of students parted automatically to make room for the Almighty Dumbledore. Dumbledore magically levitated Ruby's body into the common room and told everyone but Bethany, Wynne, Thomas, Harry, Cho, Hermione, Ron and Katie to leave. (Bethany and Wynne were Ruby's friends, Thomas was Bethany's boyfriend, Harry was Harry, the most important little boy ever, Cho was his girlfriend, and Hermione and Ron were his friends, and Katie was Ron's girlfriend, which is why they all got to stay.)  
  
Dumbledore bent over Ruby's body, examining it like the wise wizard he is. "Someone Stunned her, Stunned her again, threw her out a window, Stunned her again, and Avada Kedavra'd her," he gravely announced. The gathering group gasped in unison. Bethany and Wynne screamed again.  
  
"Why would anyone do such a thing?" Katie asked, sincerely curious.  
  
"I don't know, Miss Bell, I don't know," said Dumbledore. "I can't imagine who must have done it, either."  
  
They all thought about this for a moment. Then Hermione, the smartest one of them all, had a lightbulb appear over her head. "Voldemort!" she exclaimed. "Voldemort killed her!"  
  
They all gasped again. "But why would Voldemort kill the captain of the Gryffindor cheerleading squad?"  
  
*****  
  
A/N: I bestow the gift of happiness and randomness on anyone with my story! However, I bestow a shiny neon jukebox on anyone who tells me how many times I used the word Stun or Stunned or Stunning in this chapter! So review! I am in a very exclamation-mark mood right now for no reason whatsoever! Ya-Ya! 


	16. And When People Die, All You Need is The...

*****Chapter Sixteen*****  
  
The entire school gathered in the Great Hall immediately, skipping their first classes. "There is an emergency in our school," Dumbledore announced once everyone was assembled. "Last night, an upstanding student of our school and captain of the Gryffindor cheerleading squad, Ruby Skeffington, was killed. It isn't clear how she died, or who killed her."  
  
Dumbledore felt like a fraud. He knew perfectly well she was Avada Kedavra'd by Voldemort. But just this last year, Voldemort had killed Cedric Diggory using the same curse, and informing the students that Voldemort was on the loose and killing even more would just upset them to no end.  
  
A hand shot up. It was the hand of a sixth-year named Ginger Kingston. "Professor Dumbledore? Professor Dumbledore, did Voldemort kill Ruby?"  
  
The entire school gasped. Some were frightened because Ginger said Voldie's name; others were frightened at the prospect. The former outweighed the latter.  
  
Dumbledore decided that lying was pointless. "Yes. Voldemort killed Ruby with the Avada Kedavra curse, just like he killed Cedric Diggory last year at the Triwizard Tournament."  
  
Rockie spoke up. "Professor Dumbledore, why would Voldemort want to kill a cheerleader?"  
  
This was a question Dumbledore hadn't even thought of yet. He was just sooooo concerned, you know how it is. "I don't know. I'm sorry."  
  
Another hand shot up, that of Zacharias Smith. "Then you called us here to tell us Ruby's dead when we were all just up there looking at her body? Come on, don't you have any information?"  
  
"YEAH!" exclaimed Pansy, Farrah, Yvette, Madeleine, Natasha, Nancy, Miranda, Zinnia and Drucilla. They stood up on the table, whipped off their school robes revealing their cheerleading uniforms, and began to do a cheer. "DUMBLEDORE IS DUMB! HE DOESN'T TELL US ANYTHING! ANYTHING IS BETTER THAN NOTHING AND NOTHING IS WHAT HE TELLS US!" Yvette was the writer behind this fantastic cheer; she'd been working on it since everyone started talking. Gina, the ever-nice, sat there uncomfortably as they performed.  
  
Thankfully, Jasmine had been writing a cheer during the conversation too. The Gryffindor cheerleaders stood up on their table, whipped off their school robes revealing their cheerleading uniforms, and began to sing it. "VOLDEMORT IS EVIL, VOLDEMORT KILLED RUBY, VOLDEMORT SHOULD DIE, AND LET'S BE THE ONES TO KILL HIM!" Bethany screamed very loudly, because Ruby was her best friend. And it didn't hurt that Thomas was watching and she knew he thought she looked very cute when she screamed.  
  
The Ravenclaw cheerleaders, not to be outdone, stood up on their table, whipped off their school robes revealing their cheerleading uniforms, and began to sing a cheer that Phoebe had just written. "WE'RE RAVENCLAWS, WE'RE RAVENCLAWS! IT'S NOT OUR FAULT WE'RE SMART! MAYBE IF YOU'D LISTEN TO US VOLDEMORT WOULDN'T KILL PEOPLE!"  
  
Susan whispered to the Hufflepuff cheerleaders, and then THEY stood up on their table, whipped off their school robes revealing their cheerleading uniforms, and began to sing the cheer Susan had just made up. "VOLDEMORT'S AN IDIOT! THE MINISTRY OF MAGIC WOULDN'T APPROVE OF HIM KILLING!" 


	17. And so the randomness ensues

A/N: Betcha didn't think I'd make it this far, huh? Well, I did. R&R if you dare. I still promise jukeboxes. In fact, review and I'll send you a pretty jukebox. Promise.  
  
*****Chapter 17*****  
  
After the semi-disastrous meeting in the Great Hall, everyone but the cheerleaders were sent to the class they would normally have at that time. The cheerleaders were made to sit down in the front of the Great Hall so McGonagall could lecture them about their poor decorum.  
  
"Girls, you just exhibited some incredibly poor decorum!" McGonagall exclaimed. All of the cheerleaders looked at their white Keds-clad feet in shame. "A member of our school has just been killed and you use it as a publicity stunt!"  
  
Jasmine sheepishly raised her hand and began to speak. "Professor, did you hear the lyrics of our cheer? We were clearly admonishing Voldemort for killing Ruby."  
  
"I am fully aware of that, Miss Howell," McGonagall said. "However, was it really necessary to jump on top of the table- WHICH PEOPLE EAT OFF OF- and dance around while 'admonishing Voldemort', as you so choicely put it?"  
  
"No, Professor," Jasmine mumbled.  
  
"I thought not," McGonagall said, turning to Yvette and the rest of the Slytherins. (Gina had been permitted to go since she hadn't taken part in the butt-shaking, screaming extravaganza.) "Now. Girls. You nine have just RENOUNCED the headmaster of your school in front of the whole school. Does something seem wrong with this picture?"  
  
All of the Slytherins thought 'No' to themselves, but it was Madeleine that said quietly and humbly, "Yes, Professor." It was the right thing to say; and Madeleine knew that if someone didn't say it there would be inane amounts of punishment headed their way. That would stand in the way of cheerleading; and it was too much fun to be an evil Slytherin cheerleader. She didn't want any detention to stop it. (That, and Madeleine also knew her parents would kill her if she got expelled. This was the third school she'd been at in the past six years, after being expelled from the first two.)  
  
"Professor?" asked Rose timidly. This caused the Professor to turn to where the Hufflepuffs were sitting. "Yes, Miss Zeller?"  
  
"Oh, nothing. I just felt like the Slytherins and Gryffindors were getting too much attention."  
  
Professor McGonagall sighed. "Do all of you feel this way?" she asked the Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws. They looked at each other guiltily. "Yes," they all murmured.  
  
"I'm awfully sorry you girls did not have the fortune to be in Gryffindor, or the misfortune to be in Slytherin, but therefore you matter very little and I don't have to yell at you. In fact, you may as well just leave now so I can dramatically confront the important houses," McGonagall said to the Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws. Later The Slytherin Cheerleaders were discussing fluffy bunnies while professor Snape walked in. With Draco Malfoy. Snape came to discuss their next Quidditch game. Draco came just to look at all the hott girls in their short skirts, and flippy hair.  
  
"You guys need to prepare for the next Quidditch game, it's next week on Thursday," Snape told the cheerleaders, who were too busy putting large amounts of hairspray in their hair to notice or care.  
  
"OK, whatever Thursday, whatever," Drucilla commented.  
  
"Yeah, now, we need to fix our hair, so can you please like get away from me?" Nancy said, trying to keep Malfoy away from the hairspray. "You're like popping my personal bubble!"  
  
"NO WAY!" Malfoy exclaimed. "I wanna look at all you pretty girls!"  
  
"Yeah, well uhhhhhhhhhhh." Yvette tried to think of a comeback, but came up blank.  
  
THEEND This is where our tale ends. So too bad for you stupid people. So R&R. NOW! 


	18. Trixie Sings a Song of Science Fiction

A/N: Hah. I tricked you. It's not the end yet! Unless, of course, you wanted it to be over. But then you would stop reading. So. if you review, I shall send you a jukebox. And if you catch any of my references to anything, then I'll send you a jukebox and a fairy. So look for my references.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own "Science Fiction Double Feature". Or 'Bring it On'. Or the Compact Oxford English Dictionary.  
  
*****Chapter Eighteen*****  
  
"So what are we going to do about Ruby?" Jasmine asked Bethany. Bethany glared at her. Georgina, picking up on Bethany's train of thought, simply told Jasmine to "Bug off", and Jasmine obligingly did so, exiting the Gryffindor common room with Parvati and Lavender.  
  
Since Ruby's murder, all of the students (excepting, of course, the Slytherins, who couldn't care less) had been feeling both apprehensive and uneasy. Nobody said it out loud, but everyone was wondering who would be next. Chrissie Mass, the fourth-year who'd fallen out of the window, had developed a crazy crush on Harry since he had saved her. Of course, she was one of the few people not completely worried by the death of Ruby. Bethany and Wynne were excused from class out of emotional grief, and were attending counselling with the nameless Arithmancy teacher.  
  
The rest of the Gryffindors didn't know what to think of the situation. They were sad because Ruby died, and they were scared they would be the next to die, and they were scared cause Voldemort was killing again, they were confused at how Voldemort could have gotten on school grounds, and they were worried cause Ruby's death left them short one cheerleader.  
  
So, because of this, the Thursday after Ruby died, all of the cheerleaders except for Bethany, who was busy in counselling with the nameless Arithmancy teacher, gathered in the common room to discuss things. Being the next-oldest after Bethany, Georgina took charge of the meeting. "I think we need to have a meeting," she announced once they were all gathered.  
  
"Georgina, darling, hate to burst your bubble, but what do you think we're doing?" Evelyn asked. "Or does the word 'meeting' suddenly mean something completely different than my Oxford says?" Evelyn brandished her Compact Oxford English Dictionary and flipped to the page that had the definition for 'meeting' on it. Georgina was nonplussed by this, and began to talk again.  
  
"Whatever. Here's the thing. Ruby's death has left us short one cheerleader, and we need ten cheerleaders to." She trailed off, thinking. "Well, we need ten cheerleaders."  
  
"There must be something we can do," said Jasmine. Trixie, in a fit of randomness, got up on the coffee table in the common room and began to sing and dance. Well, it wasn't really dancing, but she was singing. She sang and she danced. She was singing a song about old science fiction movies. It was at this moment that the other eight girls noticed Trixie had on an incredible amount of red lipstick.  
  
"Michael Rennie was ill the day the earth stood still, but he told us where we stand, and Flash Gordon was there in silver underwear, Claude Rains was the invisible man. Then something went wrong for Fay Wray and King Kong, they got caught in a celluloid jam. Then at a deadly pace, it came from Outer Space, and this is how the message ran.  
  
Science fiction (ooh, ooh, ooh) double feature, Doctor X (ooh, ooh, ooh) will build a creature. See androids fighting (ooh, ooh, ooh) Brad and Janet, Anne Francis stars in (ooh, ooh, ooh) Forbidden Planet. Whoa oh ah oh, at the late night double feature picture show.  
  
I know Leo G. Carroll was over a barrel when Tarantula took to the hills and I really got hot when I saw Janette Scott fight a Triffid that spits poison and kills. Dana Andrews said prunes gave him the runes and passing them used lots of skills. But when worlds collide, said George Pal to his bride, I'm gonna give you some terrible thrills, like a.  
  
Science fiction (ooh, ooh, ooh) double feature, Doctor X (ooh, ooh, ooh) will build a creature. See androids fighting (ooh, ooh, ooh) Brad and Janet, Anne Francis stars in (ooh, ooh, ooh) Forbidden Planet. Whoa oh ah oh, at the late night double feature picture show, I wanna go, ah oh, oh oh oh, to the late night double feature picture show, by RKO, ah, oh oho oh, to the late night, double feature picture show, in the back row, ah oh oh oh oh, to the late night, double feature, picture show."  
  
When Trixie was done singing, everyone stared at her blankly and wondered what in the heck she was singing. Being a champion Transfiguration student, she Transfigured popcorn for the girls and handed it to them. "Um, Trix?" Lavender began. "What was that?"  
  
"Wouldn't you like to know?" Trixie asked.  
  
"Anyway." Georgina said, attempting to divert the girls from their confusion over Trixie's song and dance act. "So who ought we to recruit to replace Ruby?"  
  
"I think we ought to ask Hermione," said Parvati. "Just for some irony."  
  
"But Hermione doesn't like cheerleading," said Jasmine, completely missing out on the irony thing.  
  
"Hermione is a gymnast!" exclaimed Natalie! "Didn't you guys know that?" They didn't know that. In fact, this completely astounded them, because of all people, they didn't think Hermione would be the one to be a gymnast.  
  
"Natalie, how did you find that out? It isn't like she goes around cartwheeling and stuff," said Emma.  
  
"I read her mind!" exclaimed Natalie! The other girls looked at her like she was crazy. "Want me to prove it?" asked Natalie.  
  
"Go ahead, try me," said Evelyn. Natalie closed her eyes and concentrated.  
  
"You like Neville!" exclaimed Natalie! "You wish you could marry him! He is your saviour!"  
  
Evelyn turned bright red. "How did you know?"  
  
"I read your mind, you bimbo!" exclaimed Natalie! "I have telepathy!"  
  
Everyone gasped. "Then what are you doing at a wizarding school?" asked Georgina. Natalie shrugged.  
  
"Where else was I supposed to go?" Natalie asked. "Transylvania?" This confused the other cheerleaders to no end, so they decided to drop it and just resume their meeting.  
  
"I think we should have Hermione as a cheerleader," said Parvati. At this exact moment, Hermione happened to step into the common room. Convenient, huh?  
  
"Oh! Hermione! We were just talking about you! Would you like to be a cheerleader?" asked Lavender.  
  
Hermione scoffed. "I don't do cheerleading."  
  
"Come off it, Hermione. We know you're a gymnast. Natalie read your mind," said Jasmine.  
  
"If Natalie has telepathy, why is she at wizarding school?" asked Hermione, purely befuddled.  
  
"Where else was I supposed to go?" asked Natalie. "Transylvania?"  
  
Apparently, the word 'Transylvania' just confuses everyone, so Hermione decided to go back to the point at hand. "So why do you want me to be a cheerleader? You could have Stephanie Rydell! She's a dancer. Or at least, she dances."  
  
"We want you cause you're the best," said Lavender. The rest of the girls rallied behind this.  
  
"Well, all right, but the only reason I'm trying out is cause there's no gymnastics team," Hermione said, sighing.  
  
Georgina didn't want Hermione as a cheerleader. I have no idea why, but she didn't. So Georgina told Hermione to do the most difficult trick she could think of. "Do a round off handspring step off back handspring round off step off back handspring full twisting layout," Georgina said bitingly. Hermione, being a great gymnast, apparently, executed this move perfectly. The cheerleaders were floored.  
  
"Wow! Hermione, that was great! You're going to be an overnight sensation!" exclaimed Evelyn.  
  
"Who would have thought?" asked Trixie.  
  
"Hermione, you just made the squad!" said Georgina.  
  
"Now that's all settled, let's go to Disneyland!" said Emma.  
  
*****  
  
A/N: Pardon that chapter. I was listening to "Science Fiction Double Feature" when I wrote the first part, and "Bring it On" was on TV during the second part. And if it seems weird Hermione is a cheerleader now, don't worry. 


	19. Hermione Is A Cheerleader! GASP!

A/N: I know this chapter is a bit weird, so just bear with me. OK. This chapter is really random. Please, please, please, forgive me. Joi and I were on a late-night caffeination spree while writing this over the phone so it's pretty disjointed. and really random. Forgive me. I think it's funny though. R&R and break my delusions, all right?  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Sandra Dee.  
  
*****Chapter Nineteen*****  
  
That night, Bethany, Georgina, Jasmine, Lavender, Parvati, Trixie, Evelyn, Emma and Natalie gave Hermione a makeover, as befitted her new status as a cheerleader. They were excused from classes the next day to teach her all of the cheers for the Gryffindor vs. Hufflepuff Quidditch match the next day. (Yes, the next day was Saturday, which means that there would be a Quidditch match that day. HA.)  
  
Needless to say, Ron was happy with the thought of Hermione being a cheerleader. Then again, Ron was a pig. And this was especially perverted of Ron since he had a girlfriend and oughtn't to have been thinking about how hot Hermione would look as a cheerleader.  
  
Rumours spread and gauntlets were thrown as Hermione became a cheerleader with just one day to practice. There were a plethora of rumours about it. It really wouldn't have been such a big deal, but Hermione was friends with Harry, and therefore it was the most exciting thing to happen since, well. Ruby died. (Oh the irony. Yeah, right.)  
  
"I can't believe that Hermione Granger is a cheerleader!" said Maraschino Cherry, a seventh-year, to her new boyfriend Lee Jordan.  
  
"Of all of the people," agreed Lee Jordan. Their friend Sandra Dee was there too, and she joined the conversation. Sandra Dee was the most pure girl in the whole entire world. She didn't drink, or swear, or rat her hair, or smoke cigarettes, or go far with boys. She had blonde hair and she was very, very, very pure.  
  
"I don't think Hermione is going to be a very good cheerleader. She just isn't perky enough," said Sandra Dee. "The only reason they asked her is cause she's friends with Harry Potter."  
  
"You're just jealous that you didn't get asked," Maraschino said. Sandra Dee got mad at her and stormed off. Maraschino and Lee laughed. Sandra Dee was moody like that.  
  
Wo Man and his friends Krystin Quinn and Taylor Tremor were also talking about this. They were all third years. "I think," said Taylor.  
  
"No kidding," said Krystin.  
  
"I thought you didn't think," quipped Wo.  
  
"I think that Hermione is not going to be a good cheerleader," Taylor completed his sentence.  
  
"Why wouldn't she be? I mean, if she is a gymnast and all," replied Krystin.  
  
"Why do we even care?" asked Wo.  
  
"I don't know, do we have any reason to care?" Krystin pondered.  
  
"You know, I'm sure we have better things to do with our time," Taylor added. After this revelation, the three friends decided to go do something else and walked off, leading us into the next day, the day of the big Gryffindor vs. Hufflepuff Quidditch match.  
  
Hermione was nervous. This was her first Quidditch match as a cheerleader, and she didn't want to screw it up. Before the match, she and Ginny were talking. "I'm nervous," Hermione said. "I don't want to screw it up." Ginny agreed, saying, "Yes, since it is your first Quidditch match as a cheerleader and all."  
  
The game started. The cheerleaders were upbeat and perky as usual, which was kind of strange considering that, oh, yeah, one of the cheerleaders had just DIED a week ago. You could say it was a momentous event in Hogwarts history. Why? Well I have no idea, but everyone was looking on it like the second coming of Christ or something. (A/N: DISCLAIMER: I don't own Christ.) The cheerleaders danced on the field as the game proceeded above their heads. Since the cheerleading began, attendance of Quidditch games had greatly increased. Boys loved to watch the cheerleaders. This is the truth. There is no use sugar-coating it. Boys are sickos who like cheerleaders. Enough said.  
  
Hermione and the rest of the cheerleaders began to sing one of their cheers after Alicia scored a point. The cheer went like this: "Go team Gryffindor! We're fighting like a lion! Which is funny cause that's what Gryffindors have as a mascot! A lion! Rah, rah, rah!" Nobody ever said the cheerleaders were great cheer writers. But the Quidditch team wasn't really paying attention to the cheerleaders. Fred and George were beating the Bludger back and forth in the air. Unfortunately, this Bludger was of the idiotic sort, and so it decided to escape from the twins and go crashing into where the cheerleaders were dancing. Everyone managed to avoid it, except for Hermione, who was trying so hard to concentrate on not screwing up the cheer she didn't even notice the Bludger headed straight for her head. 


	20. Hermione is NOT A Cheerleader! GASP!

*****Chapter Twenty*****  
  
Hermione woke up with a start. (Bet you didn't see that coming, huh?) She must have fallen asleep while studying, as would make sense as she was sitting in the common room with a bunch of books around her. "That was a really freaky dream," she murmured, making sure she wasn't actually a cheerleader. Sure enough, there were no pom-poms or short skirts anywhere near her, and since it was the middle of the night, it seemed quite strange why she thought she was a cheerleader. "Why did I just dream I was a cheerleader?" she thought to herself. YES, THAT'S RIGHT, HERMIONE BEING A CHEERLEADER WAS ALL A DREAM. DEAL WITH IT. "And why on earth did I dream that Natalie McDonald had telepathy?"  
  
At this magic moment, Natalie McDonald appeared and said, "But I do have telepathy!"  
  
"Then why do you go to wizarding school?" asked Hermione.  
  
"Where else was I supposed to go?" asked Natalie. "Transylvania?"  
  
Hermione shuddered with déjà vu. "Ooh, creepy. That's exactly what you said in my dream!" Natalie grinned.  
  
"I know! Cause I have telepathy!" exclaimed Natalie!  
  
"This is too peculiar for words," Hermione muttered, packing up her books and preparing to go meet Ravenna, Harry, Ron, Cho, Katie, Ginny, Camilla, Marietta, Fred, George, Lee, Maraschino, Sandra Dee, Alicia, Angelina, Dean, and Seamus for a study group. (Wow, mouthful, huh?) On her way out of the common room, she passed Jasmine, Parvati and Lavender, who were talking.  
  
"Hermione, would you like to be a cheerleader?" asked Jasmine. Hermione ran screaming out of the room, her bookbag flying behind her.  
  
"Wow, wonder what that was all about?" Parvati wondered. Lavender and Jasmine shrugged.  
  
"Hermione had a dream that she was a cheerleader, and I had telepathy!" exclaimed Natalie!  
  
"How do you know that?" asked Lavender.  
  
"Cause I have telepathy!" exclaimed Natalie!  
  
"If you have telepathy, then why the heck are you at wizarding school?" asked Parvati.  
  
"Where else was I supposed to go?" Natalie asked. "Transylvania?" With that, she skipped off, taking with her the joke that isn't even really that funny, that I promise to refrain from using unless it's absolutely necessary. So, just for a recap, Hermione dreamed she was a cheerleader, and Natalie has telepathy. But that DIDN'T MATTER. I REPEAT, THAT DIDN'T MATTER. The issue at hand was who to get to take Ruby's spot.  
  
The remaining Gryffindor cheerleaders gathered that night to talk about potential replacements. Wynne didn't want to be a cheerleader; they'd already asked her. Hermione and Ravenna were out of the question. They thought about asking Stephanie Rydell or Sandra Dee, but they didn't want to unless they absolutely had to. Alicia, Angelina, Katie and Ginny were all on the Quidditch team. Amber and Tabitha weren't really into cheerleading. Maraschino was too busy with Lee and pursuing a singing career (where that came from, I have no idea). Candace Cane, better known as Candy, and Teresa Branch, better known as Tree, were too strange to be cheerleaders. It was a big messy mess.  
  
"Well, we could just resign to fate and ask Stephanie or Sandra Dee," said Bethany.  
  
"Yeah. But if we ask one of them, the other one will feel bad," countered Georgina.  
  
"True," Jasmine murmured. "Why won't Maraschino join?"  
  
"She's trying to pursue a singing career," Parvati said sarcastically. "Like that's gonna work."  
  
FAST FORWARD 3 YEARS:  
  
"Now you've won five Grammies, Maraschino Cherry, what are you going to do next?" asked the generic announcer.  
  
"I'm going to go visit all of my friends and show them that I won five Grammies, of course!" Maraschino exclaimed.  
  
END FAST FORWARD  
  
"Well, if we can't ask Maraschino, and we can't ask Amber, or Tabitha, or Angelina, or Alicia, or Katie, or Tree, or Candy, or Ginny, or Wynne, or Hermione, or Ravenna, or Stephanie, or Sandra Dee, then who in God's name are we supposed to ask?" a frustrated Lavender exclaimed.  
  
"Hey! You can't exclaim things! That's my job!" exclaimed Natalie! She was ignored as the meeting resumed. 


End file.
